Overwhelmed

...acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work. 1 Chronicles 28: 9&10
Overwhelming....that is the stage of the journey I am at. I don't just mean overwhelmed by the fact that I am traveling to India alone, overwhelmed because there is just no way everything will fit in my suitcases, or overwhelmed at the thought of again leaving my family and friends for three months. Not that these things are not overwhelming, but I know the Lord is with me and He is fully capable to take care of me. No, I am really feeling overwhelmed by the fact that I am the chosen. Out of millions of people, the Lord chose me. This isn't just a little vacation I am taking. The Lord has chosen me to go and be a mother to his precious kids. He has entrusted them to me, to love them passionately, deeply, unconditionally just as He does. I have no idea why He chose me, but He did and sometimes the task seems so overwhelming. How will I be a mother when I cannot hold more than a very choppy conversation with the kids, how will I provide for their needs when their needs are so numerous, and how will I ever love all 21 of them enough. After all there is only one of me and I only have one lap and two hands, but luckily the Lord has already given a huge part of my heart to these kids and I'm sure they will only continue to take more of it. When I begin to think of these things I become overwhelmed. These kids have nothing and I have so little to offer them, but again that whisper reminds me that the most important thing they need is LOVE. God is their father and He is pretty good at. I know that even though I will not be able to provide everything they need, the Lord is and will continue to take care of them and provide for them. Love them, deeply, passionately, without end....that is the only thing the Lord is asking of me. As time draws near, and as I arrive in India, I need to remember this. I cannot do everything....but I can do something, and I will do all I can while I am there. The most important thing I can do: LOVE without end.
"Once you say the yes of faith to Jesus and accept his blueprint for the fullness of life, the whole world can no longer revolve around you, your needs, your gratifications; you'll have to revolve around the world, seeking to bandage its wounds, loving dead men into life, finding the lost, wanting the unwanted, and leaving far behind all the selfish, parasitical concerns which drain our time and energies." -John Powell