Aunty

I got a few minutes of internet time tonight as a surprise...haha. I am doing great. The kids are wonderful. I cannot believe this is real honestly. It is a dream come true for me to spend everyday just loving these precious kids. I have decided that "Aunty" is by far the sweetest name I have ever been called...I believe the only sweeter name would be "mommy." I think I melt everytime my name is called. Aunty, aunty, aunty. PRECIOUS! Everyday my relationships with the kids get stronger and stronger and even when I leave for only an evening the kids tell me to hurry back. It honestly feels like I am dreaming. The Father is truly amazing and so great.
I can now read Hindi, just very slowly. Please continue to pray for my Hindi reading and speaking. It is so helpful to me!
I appreciate your prayers so much...we all do. I love you all and miss you. Blessings!

Time Flies

The old saying, "Time flies when you're having fun," has been so true for me here. I have been gone a month now and it feels like I have been gone about 3 days. The days and weeks just run into each other as I continue to simply love. There are many struggles and I consider this crazy rollercoaster adventure the hardest and best thing I have ever done. I really have to hurry this update, but I just wanted to let you all know I am doing wonderfully! We had a really great Easter service yesterday and a church dinner afterwards. It was a great day of worship and fellowship. Truly refreshing not to think about the Easter bunny even once the whole day and to just focus on the reality...He LIVES!
I love you all and miss you. Please continue to keep us all in your prayers. They are so appreciated. I hope you all had a blessed Easter!

Quick Update

I wanted to also write a quick update about the happenings here. The kids took their exam today and now have a 10 day break from school. This week, we will be having a Maundy Thursday service, Good Friday service, and of course a special Easter service. It is exciting for me to be away from the commercial aspect of Easter in america and simply focus on Jesus and the miracle of his death and ressurection. I know this will be a blessed week. I hope all of you also have a blessed Easter week.
A few prayer requests:
-first for safety as their are no boundaries around our house and we live out in the country....often thieves come at night, but don't worry i keep my doors and windows locked, but please pray for safety of not only me, but also the kids and the principal, his wife, the two pastors, and the cook/driver.I know the Lord keeps us safe, but prayers never hurt!
-things are getting better with the older boys but i would ask you would continue to pray for my relationships with them
-also please keep praying for my Hindi...Hindi is SO hard
-and just for strength and good rest
Well i pray you are all well and I appreciate your support and prayers so much! Lots of love!

Simply God

The past 18 days of my life have been full of many things, joy perhaps the greatest of these, along with occasional loneliness, deep love, lots of confusion, ackward moments, lots of tickling, hand holding, snuggling, strained conversations, a few tears, and an abundance of laughter! Most of the time I truly don't know what is going on. It's often 2 minutes before I am supposed to go somewhere or do something when I find out about it. Flexibility is truly key here...because even when they tell the kids and I'm standing right there, I still have no idea because I cannot understand. So my days are full of confusion, but the joy, the laughter, the tickling, the games, the chasing, and snuggling are the things I remember each night before I go to bed. These are the kind of moments that have been stealing pieces of my heart. The simple moments that I have come to realize are truly the very reason I am here. I only hope that you will be blessed by the pure simplicity of my ministry. The simple moments when 4 or 5 kids hold my hands at the same time, pulling me in 3 different directions saying "chello aunty" (let's go aunty). How three year old Mona rarely leaves me and either must be in my arms or holding my hand....I love to hear that little voice saying, haut, haut aunty (hand, hand) or feel her little arms reaching up for me to pick her up. The moments when I chase the kids up to the top bunks to tickle them. Times like yesterday when Mona had a fever and I sat in her bed with her head in my lap rubbing a cool cloth over her body. Or later when I gave Mona a bath and six year old Ruth, perfectly capable of bathing herself wanted me to bathe her because no one has ever done that for her before. And while we were in the bathroom five kids stood outside screaming Kelly Aunty and banging on the door and throwing water in the window! Or the times when I am in my room maybe for bathing or preparing a Bible game and they stand outside my door knocking saying Kelly Aunty. Or yesterday, when Vinod blindfolded himself and took hold of my hand to have me lead him all over including up and down a lot of stairs....funny kid. Or today playing hide and seek. Or when eight year old Badal jumps into my arms and is content for me just to hold him for awhile. Or when 8 kids call for me to watch them as they use makeshift slingshots to sling rocks high into the air. Moments like yesterday when I helped the kids study for their exams and today after their exam they all wanted to show me their papers so I could tell them they did a good job. Or times I help them wash their clothes. Or how every night after dinner I walk the youngest kids back to their room because it is dark and they are afraid. And how whenever my lap is empty someone will crawl into it, or if my hands are free, someone will hold onto them. For these kids, they have never had someone (for more than a week at a time) who loved them unconditionally and just truly desires to pour constant love on them. They soak it up often without realizing it. The fact that Ruth wanted me to bathe her almost made me cry as I realized tender loving care is something these kids have been missing for so long. The other day I was reading in Heeralal's notebook (he is one of the older boys, 14 yrs. old) and I read something that brought tears to my eyes. He had written out, in English, 2 Corinthians 6:18 "I will be a father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." For these kids, this isn't just a comforting verse, this verse is truly a promise they cling to. They have been abandoned by everyone who should love them here on earth and truly the only one they can count on his the Lord. He is their father. The amazing thing is that the Lord decided to use me to shower some much needed motherly love on the kids. So it may seem like my ministry here is nothing special, but truly the Lord has brought me here at this exact time for His glory and for His purpose. The simplicity of simply loving these kids is truly a ministry that is needed. Simple moments make a big impact. It's simply God working.

Love So Deep

I never knew love like this could exist. I fall deeper and deeper in love everyday. My arms are always full and there is always a voice around me saying, "Aunty, haut, haut" (aunty, hand, hand) they truly ache for motherly love, a little affection...what a blessing to be able to give that to them. I love helping them get dressed, wash their clothes, comb their hair, or just cuddle them. We just walk around, run around, cuddle, talk(haha), and always LAUGH! Honestly I ask myself countless times, can life get better? I submit that it cannot!

Pure JOY

Another week passed too fast. Life is so different for me here, but different in a very good way. I actually cannot believe this is my life right now. Many times, I actually stop and have to remind myself I am not dreaming. A journal excerpt:
I just finished tucking in the little ones and saying goodnight to all the kids. Now I am sitting in my room in awe of the Lord's goodness. I am at home here and I know my life was created for days like these. Everywhere I look I see the face of Jesus. He is in the kids smiles, their laughter, their prayers, and their songs. Jesus is fully alive in each and everyone of these kids. Tonight in evening prayer, i could not stop my tears. As four, five, and six year old kids volunteered to pray and did so passionately it ripped out what was left of my heart. These beautiful children are the future---they are the future army of the Lord. What a beautiful sight to behold---the Lord's army in training. What an incredible privelege to be a part of their training. I am so unworthy, yet the Lord sent me anyways. I am in awe.

I cannot describe to you how fully my heart is...yet the Lord didn't just bring me here to serve, because now I can see his plan to change my heart too. Here I am alone and at times, when the kids are in school or at night after I tuck them in, the loneliness creeps in and threatens to overwhelm me. This is the first time I have been without friends, family, or a fellow English as a first language speaker. Every conversation takes my utmost concentration. But the Lord is good. In my lonelinesss he holds me. I know the Lord is enough and he will always sustain me...but he is showing me in depths like never before that he is my best friend. When I have no one to talk to, he is there always listening. He holds me as I hold the kids. I know the Lord has a plan to bring me into a more intimate relationship with him. It's just like him to fool me into thinking I was here for others and really he wants to change my heart.
I cannot express to you how wonderful my relationships with the kids are....everyday things get a little less ackward. I still have no idea what is going on most of the time, but the play time, snuggle time, and pagal (crazy) time i spend with the kids is worth the ackwardness. I have a few prayer requests:
-that i would continue building relationships with the kids (esp. the older boys) and with Aunty who helps cook, and with Jyoti Aunty (the principal's wife)
-please pray for my Hindi as I am trying to learn to speak, read, and write Hindi...i need the Lord's help! although hearing hindi nearly 100% of the time has definetly helped me pick up on some more
-and just for good rest, nights seem to be ackward times for me, and it would be so helpful to sleep soundly through the night
Oh and a funny picture for you...today I had about 2 minutes notice that I would be teaching the nursery class for the whole day...no preparation time! imagine a substitute teacher(you all know how they are treated) who cannot speak the language! it was crazy...and only by the Lord's grace did i survive!!! HAHA
THANKS EVERYONE! Love to you all!!!

Finally Home

Words cannot express my joy. Home...my heart is finally home.
I honestly don't know what to write because I know that nothing I could possibly say could ever describe what is in my heart. I am back in India. I made it here safely with no problems while traveling. Praise the Father. I did not sleep for almost 3 days straight so it really helped me get over jet lag fast. It is much warmer here than in America, definetly no snow.
My days are filled with laughter, tickling, hand holding, snuggling, straining to understand and speak Hindi, and lots and lots of love. Pure JOY. I know this is where the Lord wants me to be and it feels so right. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. They are definetly being answered. The Lord is supplying all I need and so much more. His provision is a true testament to His greatness. As I was traveling to India, I journaled a lot. Here is an excerpt that I think describes my feeling about India.
India, the people, oh they take my breath away. The dark hopelessness of the nation touches a place deep in my soul that I didn't even know existed and it stirs me to give up anything the Lord asks just to pour out a little more love on people so desperate for it. Their stone gods don't love them, don't answer their cries for help, don't draw near to comfort them. No, they do nothing but demand praise and money offerings. I don't even know how many gods they have, but i know the number is staggering with billions of people caught up in it. It is a part of the culture. Many try to escape it, but it is nearly impossible, or so it seems. But that is just what draws me to India-that same hopeless impossibility because I know that nothing is ever impossible with the father. I saw that so evidently last time as many were healed in the slums and one man came to know the father. I see hope alive in the faces of all the pastors i meet here as they endure ridicule and persecution, yet never lose hope. I see hope clearly as I hear the kids scream praise to the father and I hear them take turns reading the word. You see, the people of India are his people too...and as long as they are lost, he will continue to raise up strong men and women who will choose to always HOPE no matter how dark and desperate the situation may seem. I know HOPE is fully alive in India because there are people willing to stand for it when no one else will. So that's why I go. I go to help feed the fire of HOPE no matter how small my contribution may seem because it does matter and it does make a difference.
I wanna set the World on fire, until it's burning bright for you. It's everything that I desire, can I be the one you use? I am small, but you are big enough. I am weak, but you are strong enough to take my dreams, come and give them wings. Lord with you, there's nothing I cannot do. (Brit Nicole-Set the World On Fire)
Love to you all.